Month: June 2012

Ms. Busy Bee

I have been so busy I have neglected my blog! Hope you all forgive me 🙂 I have been working on Reborn and will probably post an excerpt with a few days. I am also reading an amazing book right now that I don’t to put down. The Perfect Husband by Douglas Wickard. You should check it out 🙂

Much Love~Ash

Self Publishing

I want to publish a small book of poetry so I figured I would be able to find something that gave a step by step guide that I could actually understand. HA! I am still trying to figure out what the HECK I am doing. Maybe I should try submitting it to a publisher and see if I get any bites. IF and when I figure out what I am doing I will definitely make sure I post something about my experience.

Much love~ Ash

Prologue to Reborn

This is the prologue to my new project, Reborn. I am looking for some feedback so please feel free to let me know what you think. 

           The first time he did it…it was dark, raining, and lightning was crackling through the clouds. She felt his hand connect with her face and she went down. Shocked and still hanging onto her bravery she picked herself up and flew at him with a rage she had never felt. When she heard him laugh she knew she had made the biggest mistake of her life. In seconds she was up against the wall with his hand around her throat. She could barely see him except for when the lighting flashed; there was no escaping his strength.

            He leaned close to her ear and whispered “You don’t want to play this game with me”. He tightened his hand and then released her with such a quickness she had no time to get her bearings, instead falling to the floor in a heap of body parts. She sat there, silent, waiting for him to do something more, kill her perhaps. He simply turned and walked out of the room. With shaky legs she made her way to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. What the hell just happened? This was nothing like the man she knew.

            To afraid to come out of the bathroom she decided to run a bath for herself instead, at least she would have a reason to stay behind the locked door for as long as she could. Dumping in some lavender bath salts her mind was still reeling from his violence. As she slowly took her clothes off she peered into the mirror to check and see if he left behind any bruises. Her neck was still pink from where his hand had cut off her airway. Her cheek was burning and red like a lobster. Damn.

            The warm water cradled her like a baby and she lay there thinking. She was only 17 years old. She had left home when she met John, a shining star in this small town. He proclaimed his love for her and told her that he needed her to be with him, and her naiveté concealed any other facts she should have considered. It had only been about six months since she had shown up on his doorstep with a garbage bag in her hand and a backpack on her back. Everything seemed to be going nicely, she cooked, cleaned, did the laundry, and helped pay the bills with the little bit of money she made from working at the only coffee shop in town.

            She almost jumped out of the bathwater when she heard the light tapping on the bathroom door. “Elise, unlock the door honey. I am so sorry.” For what seemed like an hour she sat there, debating in her head if she should let him in. She pulled the plug in the bathtub and dried herself off. Cinching her bathrobe around her waist she apprehensively clicked the lock on the door and stepped back.

            John opened the door slowly and she could see the moisture around his eyes. “I am so sorry Elise.” He walked over to her and lowered to his knees, pressing his head into her stomach. She stiffened, not wanting him anywhere near her. As he cried out his apologies he got into her mind just a little more. Her heart was starting to break for him, this man she loved so much in such a little amount of time. Surely he really was sorry. He couldn’t be faking such raw emotion, as he promised her over and over again that he would rather die than hurt her again.

            She laid a hand on the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair. He looked up at her, his eyes remorseful, and begged her to come to bed with him. She nodded and as he stood he grabbed her hand and led the way.

All That I Have Taken

His eyes seem to


Deep into my soul

Finding strength

Where I see weakness

Finding love

Where I see hatred

Making sense

Out of a heart

That was once a mess

He travels

Through my soul

And finds a solid


He is so full of love


And dedication

I don’t deserve

All that he has given

All that I have taken

Putting it out there for suggestions….

I finished my short story…well the blog version anyway 😉 I still can not seem to come up with a good title for it. If you have any suggestions I am all ears (or eyes?). I hope you enjoy the last and final part. I have been jotting some new ideas and can’t wait to get started on them.

Much love~Ash

Drew and Kinsey Part 10

“Look over there”. He followed her gaze until he saw a girl, about the age of 22, sitting across the street in the park. “Who….” He trailed off and sat forward just a little more in his seat. He looked over at Kinsey and he knew exactly why she had sounded as if the sky had just fallen. “Drew that is our daughter”.

Drew shook his head. She called him for this? He had to find a babysitter and drive all the way out here for THIS? “Kinsey….enough”. He turned, grabbed the door handle and was about to open the door when he heard her. “It’s not her is it?” His eyes widened and he turned back to her, shocked. “No Kinsey, it’s not”. Then as if a tidal wave of understanding hit her like a semi she started crying. In this moment he knew that no matter how distant they had been she needed him to hold her. He wrapped his arms around her and they sat there for what seemed like hours.

When the tears finally started to subside he switched gears and grabbed her hand. “Are you ok?” “She isn’t coming back is she?” Kinsey asked. Drew was breaking down inside, “No babe…I don’t think she is”. “It has been six years, we haven’t heard anything, it is like she has disappeared.” Wincing at this, Kinsey looked straight into Drew’s eyes, “Do you ever wonder what happened to her?”

How could he put this to her without making it sound as if he was the worst person on the face of the planet? “I used to all the time, but since Harper and Asher were born I really try to just enjoy the two new little people we have now”. Silence. “They are beautiful aren’t they?” Drew took a deep breath, now was as good of a time as any. “They need you Kinsey you are such a wonderful mother and you need to come back to us. We can get through this I know we can.” More silence. Kinsey looked over at him once more and said, “I’m ready”.

© Ashley M. Nee 2012

Please forgive me!

Please forgive me….I started the Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy the other night, and I am (ashamed to say) that I am completely consumed by it. I am halfway through the second one and I have laughed and cried throughout this book, I am amazed at how good it actually is. I guess this is what I deserve for finally giving in and checking out what the hype was about. Back on track soon 🙂

Much Love~Ash

Drew and Kinsey Part 9

Anna was sure as soon as someone found out, there would be no more use for her. What was supposed to be one of the happiest moments in her life was going to be the saddest things she had gone through. It should have been a day to share with her husband, her mother, and all the other people she loved in her life. Instead she was fearfully checking herself in the mirror everyday to see if that day would be the day it no longer went unnoticed. It had been a long time since she had yearned for her mother, but today with her head hanging over the bathroom sink she kept seeing her mother’s face as her stomach heaved.

A baby. A baby was sure to change things. It would only take one man who forced himself on her to say something to Karloff…and then what would happen to her? Would they take her baby and sell it? If it was a girl would they raise it and pimp her out? If it was a boy would he grow up to be like these men who silently stood around the house keeping all these young girls prisoner in this dreary house? She didn’t even want to think of what it would mean to her, an impending death she was sure.

There was no one to tell, no one that she wanted to tell anyway. Days went by and soon she noticed the small pudge begin to pop up. She knew she could only hide it for so long. She would have to make the biggest decision in this babies life before the baby even came. She fell asleep at night, weighing her options. Should she try to escape? It wasn’t going to happen. Should she wait until someone noticed and deal with it from there? There was only one option that seemed right to her.

It was in the backseat of a car on a very rainy night. The moon was guarded closely by dark rolling clouds. She settled into the seat and let her mind wander to old memories that she had locked away long ago to keep them safe, untarnished from the life she knew now. Years of Christmas mornings flooded through her mind, the first time she rode a bike, her first kiss, Sunday shopping with her mother. There were so many things that she needed to remember in this moment.

Anna rested her hand on her belly and rubbed it gently. She prayed that God would forgive her for what she was about to do and said a small prayer. Before she could change her mind she lunged forward through the middle of the front seat and jerked the wheel with every ounce of hatred she had built up over the years. The driver looked at her with shock on his face…they were spiraling through the air. She gave a small laugh, looked deep into his eyes and said……

“I WIN”.

© Ashley M. Nee 2012

My short story…

    This short story has been a huge journey for me. I have tried really hard to keep the writers block away and sit down and force myself to write something…whether I go back 20 times and hit the delete key is regardless to me. This is my dream, to take my words and touch someone’s heart, if even for just a moment. I love all of you who read not only my poetry, but also my fiction pieces. Just knowing that someone else is reading makes me feel like I am taking baby steps to that ultimate goal. Just wanted you all to know I am still here, writing when I can (when my children will let me). Thanks for hanging in with me and for giving me beautiful feedback. 

Much love~ Ash