Month: September 2013

Remembering


pregnancy-loss-ribbon

Lately I have been thinking of the babies I lost due to miscarriage. These two little babies have been on my mind constantly for the past few days and I suppose that has pushed me to want to say a few things. I have three living children ages 6, 4, and 2. They are amazing kids, they push my buttons, but also push me to be the best person I can be. I have known many people who believe that because I have these 3 beautiful children my miscarriages shouldn’t really affect me. How I wish this was true.

Because I have these three awesome children I can’t help but think what those little angel babies would be like today. Would they be sassy? Mellow? Make me laugh? I wish I could know what their snuggles would feel like and what their first words would be. I will never hear their first cry, or be responsible for their first smile. I will never have to try to hide my tears on their first day of kindergarten or argue with them about cleaning their rooms.

I look at my children and while I hurt for the angel babies I will never know, I feel blessed to have the life I do. There are many women who never see their dream of a baby come to fruition and my heart aches for them. I wish with everything I have that they will know what it is like to love a child and have that child love them back.

I suppose the purpose of speaking out about this is to let people know that every woman who goes through a miscarriage carries those wounds on her heart forever. Carrying a baby in your womb and never meeting them takes a toll on anyone who has experienced it. So…be kind, be empathetic, and never devalue a person’s life experiences.

Update


My computer bit the dust….and with it all of my writing. My hard drive is completely fried and I can’t even try to get stuff off it. Pictures, music, works in progress, classwork…MY LIFE 😦 Technology-1 Ashley-0. On top of that my head is so consumed with the American Psychological Association’s Ethics Code that my creativity is dwindling at a dangerously low level. *sigh* 

On a better note I have managed to still maintain my 4.0 GPA two classes into my Masters degree. My wonderful (and equally cuckoo) family is trying to buy a house and I am trying to convince my husband to add to said wonderful (and equally cuckoo) family. 

I hope all of you are doing marvelously! Comment and let me know what craziness is going on in your life!!

~Ash